Friday, June 27, 2008

Pirates 12 Sex Move! 3

"what ever happened to tasteful taunts?" is the question sex move asked during the week of preparation before the pirate game. Turns out, the most tasteless taunts will always win, and the pirates found out that making silly sex jokes is not enough to beat bloody SODOMY to the tune of "Carmina Burana". The actual game was a little closer than anticipated, that is until you take a deeper look at the scorecard. I'm pretty sure the pirates let up after a huge 8 - 0 first inning.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Ball Deep 9 Sex Move! 8

Thursday, June 12th, the clouds spread, revealing the sun for the first time in weeks, and U-Dist Playfield witnessed Sex Move!, like around bases and stuff.

The evening began with Sex Move bringing yet another brilliant skit for our competitors.

Taunting started off offensively, well for those of us with aural and visual sensitivity, as The Nuge inspired Dick Spanker to ball Pearl Necklace deep. Thankfully, a choir of angels descended from the heavens to disrupt the assault. Re-inventing Tenacious D's words of wisdom liltingly acappella, chorusters Sparkle Kid, Boston Globes, Half Chubb, and Ruby Starfruit lulled the crowd into a state of sweet arousal. The Move! informed its opponents that sometimes you don't have to ball her deep, sometimes that's just not right to do. Ball Deep made another dick joke
(worst official mistake since the Soviets were "inadvertently" given extra time in '72 Olympic hoops).
The move, seemingly unbothered by their victimization by WKL authorities, took the battle to the field. The sexiest team in the WKL burgeoned instantly from zero run record holders to bristling athletes, winning 8 points and leading Ball Deep for 4 2/3s innings. In the bottom of fifth, Sex Move! needed one more out to taste the sweetness of victory when the Nuge kicked a Ball Deep into right field for a 2 run, walk off homer.

Cheers to DM and Awesometown!!!1! for an afterparty filled with karaoki and dancing to raise Sex Move!'s spirits in preparation for battle Pirates.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Beyond Thunderdome 25 Sex Move! 0

Well we started the season with some blood: all over my leg and a large sized maxipad. The sex move won the first taunt of the season and then found itself down 8-0 in the first inning. A couple of fielding errors later it was 25-0, but really it could of went either way ;)

Signing off,

Friday, May 23, 2008

And Let's not forget

Dance Team 2008

Our Moves Thus far

This squad will find a way to penetrate the holes in your defense.

Ruby Starfruit

Co captian and head of enthusiasm/magic. Ruby has history in the WKL and has once said "which one is right field?" Her style of play and creativity for taunting is blue-ribbon winning.

Half Chub

Co captian and head of magic/strategery. I almost got a double play in the WKL last year and I assure you that i will at least have 2-3 beers during each game. Oh yeah i started this blog as well.

Barry McCaulkiner

A rookie to the WKL, Barry's competitive edge is driven by years of study in metallurgy, horology, and amature gynocology (with a special focus on the cervicle area) that will surely help out on the field.

Boston Globes
another WKL rookie, Boston Globes' kickball skill goes back to grade school, which might have been the last time she played.

Dick Spanker

If you have ever taken a pitch by Dick you would have felt it.

Hillside Quickie

Quickie brings speed, cat-like reflexes, and refined legs to the kickball table and knows how to use them.

One-eyed Turtle

Recruted for his overall size and girth, the turtle should blow up in your faces.

Pearl Necklace

Pearl also has history in the WKL and will definately make it past second base. I dare you to challege her to a boat race.

Pink Sock

Not much is known about pink sock, except for the relation between a hillside quickie?

Porn Cookies

When surfing the world wide web (which i have 67% complete) these little things are always buried inside your browser. When playing kickball, cookies will surely bury herself deep inside your fanny's.

Red Zepprin

Our ace in the hole, red can plunge a ball in your throat and reach home plate before you can say, "earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization".

Saddle Bags

Saddle bags brings years of dancing and kickballing to the field along with sitting on horses?

Sparkle Kid

When sparkle isn't spending time crashing bachelorette parties or styling hair, he is toning his arm for high speed throws to first base.

Third Leg

Former captain and I hear his leg is force to be reckoned with. Dare to find out?

Woody Sporker

I'm pretty sure he summited Everest last summer and plans on K-2 this summer after WKL.